can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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