Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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