I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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