She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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