billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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