so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
