What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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