he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
