and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
