Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
