Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize