So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
