so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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