i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
