the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My breasts were aching with rage.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
