dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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