He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
