im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
