Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
