i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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