matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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