drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
