Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
