Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
