I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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