I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think im going to throw up on grandma
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
