He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
