you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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