We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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