Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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