he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
