you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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