With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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