trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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