I could have mohawked her pubes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
