Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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