Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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