the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
