do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
