Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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