That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
