two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
