You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
