I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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