dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
