Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
