i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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