From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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