just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
