I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
