I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
